Man of My Dreams
Curtis Sittenfeld
“Are there situations,
long-term situations, where conflict
does not wait around every bend, where time does not unspool only in
anticipation of your errors” – from The
Man of My Dreams
Hannah Gavener is fourteen in the summer of 1991, the summer she is
sent away
to her Aunt Elizabeth, the summer her mother finally leaves her father.
Hannah’s childhood is spent trying not to provoke her father’s fury and
in
1991, after he throws his wife and his daughters out of the house,
Hannah’s
mother decides she’s finally had enough.
However, even though Hannah doesn’t live with her father any longer,
she hasn’t
escaped his control. Hannah isn’t sure people really live happily, if
it’s
peaceful and they’re kind to each other, how does their life have any
direction? Hannah’s life has always been directed by her father and
preventing
an escalation of conflict. “Every fight is about not just itself but
all your
massive personal inadequacies, your fundamental disrespect from him.”
Now, as
she enters her senior year of college, Hannah has done the unexpected
and cut
her father out of her life. Without her rudder, how will Hannah plot
the course
for the rest of her life? At what point does she have to stop blaming
her
problems on her messed-up childhood?
Curtis Sittenfeld’s first novel Prep
was a breakout hit, ending up on many critics “best of 2005” lists. The
Man of My Dreams is a novel that focuses inward and, as such,
is
unlikely to be as popular as Prep.
Sittenfeld’s choice to move in a new direction was a wise one.
Comparisons to Prep
will happen; however, the two works bear little resemblance to each
other
except for Sittenfeld’s deft writing ability.
The
Man of My Dreams, while beautifully written, is not a happy
novel.
Hannah lives in as unobtrusive manner as possible, avoiding anything
that may
“stir the pot,” as she has since childhood. Her father was “the weather
system
they all live with, and all of their behavior, whenever he is around,
hinges on
his mood.” Aversion therapy quickly trained Hannah and her sister
Allison into
approved behavior. “Your goal is not to instigate, and if you are
successful,
avoidance is its own reward.”
The sisters deal with the abuse of their childhood in very different
ways.
Allison, an outgoing and charismatic young woman, invites male
attention and
marries at twenty-four, although Hannah isn’t convinced that Allison
truly
loves Sam. Hannah heads to the other extreme by isolating herself and,
when she
finally does begin to interact with men, chooses those she can never
truly
“have,” preferring to be denied rather than having to open herself up
to being
hurt.
Hannah has difficulty believing that relationships exist where one
doesn’t have
to walk on eggshells. Her assumptions on male and female roles were
formed from
her early observations: men are strong and confident; women are “a
little
wimpy.” These stereotypes are born out later in her experiences in
college
where she observes the guys picking girls who need to be rescued. And
so Hannah
floats through relationships, taking whatever is offered to her but
investing
little of her self.
What isn’t clear is whether Hannah idolizes people who cause trouble or
dislikes them. She tends toward passivity, but almost worships her
cousin Fig’s
flaunting of rules.
Hannah’s journey toward maturity is heartbreaking and what resonates
with
readers is the need to leave the past behind as new relationships are
forged.
How Sittenfeld shapes Hannah’s awakening will linger in reader’s minds
long
after the last page is read.
Author Website