Interview with Tara L. Nicole, author of Dancing in the  Rain

 It says this book is based on a true story. Is it your story? Could you tell us more about how the book parallels your life?
Yes, it is my story. Most of it is autobiographical and was written while I was going through the events. It was like my journal, when things got really hard I told them in the third person, thus chronicling what I felt but distancing myself from it at the same time. I did however then go back and dramatize the story and create/combine characters in order to make the story more compelling and more consistent.  

If it is based on your experiences, what gave you the strength to stop cutting?
Myself. I am a very strong person, very stubborn. And so when I made that promise to myself I kept it. For the most part. There were relapses and I still fight it most days, but I have an amazing support network of friends and family, and I have tried to establish healthier coping mechanisms to take its place, like exercise or drinking hot coco.

 What advice to have for parents, teachers and others who suspect their child may be self harming?
 First and foremost don't panic. Self injury is a coping mechanism, it does not fortell suicide or dramatic actions. Then educate yourself and the child involved on self injury. Read books (like mine), in order to give you both a common language in which to discuss what is going on. A child may not know what they are doing is self-injury, it might just be a habit, like biting their nails till they bleed. It takes both sides gaining an awareness  and the right words to describe what the teen is feeling, or examples that they can point to and say "it's like that".  Then it requires establishing a support network and new coping mechanisms to replace self-injury.
 
Current educational philosophy is do not talk about cutting, it just encourages students to try it. Do you agree with this?
No. I understand the rational behind this. But the same argument could be said of drugs, alcohol or any eating disorder. Cutting has become as common as these other things, and so it is no longer something we can shelter our youth from and hope they won't find out about. 1 in 10 teens have tried it at least once. Therefore most teens have either tried it or know someone who have tried it.  No one will turn to self-injury from curiosity, it is a cry of desperation. Thus a healthy teen won't start self-injury just because they learn it exists. We aren't giving them ideas, we are just teaching them how to help and cope.

The lack of support of any other characters for each other (except for Chris' devotion to Drue) is remarkable. Do you really think people are that removed from each other at that age?
In part. The amount of isolation comes partly because I needed to simplify the story and didn't want to involve too many characters. It also comes from the idea that when you are depressed, even if people are reaching out, you don't see it. Thus you feel more alone then you probably are. However, I think there is also a dangerous amount of self-involveness in any age, but intensified in teens.It is not malicious, or intentional, but when you are a teen your own problems are so all consuming it is rare that you find someone who also has the energy to focus and help with someone else's issue. Thus people are apt to believe you if you are "okay." It's easier to believe that. In society as a whole, we move at such a fast pace, everyone gets caught up in their own routine and forgets to notice the person they bump into on the street.  This is no ones fault, it is just the way life goes. You tell them you are okay, they are going to believe you, because it is easier and they have their own battles they are struggling with.

If you could have one person read your book who would it be and why?
Originally I wrote my book for those people who were there with me through this personal battle. Because I am such a private person, people saw only the outside reactions of my battle without knowing what I was going through. Originally, I began my story  in hopes of explaining to these people: to my high school boyfriend how important he was to me, or to my college boyfriend why I kept freaking out on him, or to my parents to tell them there wasn't anything they could have done anyway. To attempt to explain what was going on in my head for all those years that i didn't talk to anyone.  However, now, I'd like someone with an influence to read it. I want my story to be an example of the struggle that teenagers everywhere are going through. i want it to prompt someone to DO something about this. To put heath classes back in the Junior Highs, to give teens coping mechanism so life doesn't have to be so hard at 15. I want people to acknowledge that this has become a normal part of growing up, and it shouldn't be.

What process did you use for writing the book?
My best friend in High School and I always discussed how it would be fun to write about our high school experience from our three different points of view. Mine, Roger's and Chris'. We experienced the same events, but so differently. That's what the book started as, then I got depressed. There were days I could do nothing but write. So I would write. It was how I got all the stuff out of my head, how I made the joys real, and let go of the pains. The book started as just a lot of little excepts on scraps of paper that were written at church, or durning class, or at 3am when I couldn't sleep. Then I started chronically them, then I started reading them, and I discovered there was a story, not the one I had originally set out to write, but a story all the same. So I picked and chose excerpts, added some fiction and made a novel.

What, if any, hardships did you run into getting this book published?
Publishing this novel was always something in the back of my head, but that I never quite took seriously. So when I started sending excepts to small publishers it was on a whim. When the first people I sent it to, asked for the whole manuscript and then sent me a contract I was stunned. I was abroad at the time, so they were in the UK. I later got an offer from an American publisher as well, but I had already agreed to go with Pneuma Springs. I have loved working with the editors because they gave me a tremendous amount of control in the editing and appearance of my book. I got to approve everything from edits, to cover design, to price. However, as I went into the whole process blind, I had no idea the amount of work that I would have to put in myself. I have since established my own business to distribute the book in the states and am promoting myself through book talks, lectures, and working hard to get my book up online and in bookstores. This is a process that is both enjoyable and time consuming. At times it is also very frustrating.

What words of advice do you have for new writers?
 Believe in what you are writing. If you don't, no one else will. It took me a long time until I was convinced this book deserved publication, until I found the angle and the reason that this story needed to be told. I am now convincing people every day why they need to read it, or put it in their stores. It's a very good thing that I believe every word I say. Otherwise this book would go no where. So believe in yourself, believe in your writing, and believe in the story and message you are telling. If you believe in it, other people will too.

You are working on another book. What is this one about?
I had planned to write fiction for my next novel. But then the last year and half took me by surprise and presented me with a story that I don't need to use much fiction to tell. Like this last one which takes one of the best parts of being 15: falling in love for the first time, and also one of the hardest; depression. In this new story, I am also taking on one of the best parts of college: the opportunity to live and work abroad for a year, and one of the worst: the growing number of date rapes. Like my campaign for self-injury I see date rape as a huge problem in the states that is as of yet still under-acknowledged. I want to help bring awareness to this issue, while also telling about this incredible, life altering experience of falling in love with another country and culture.

What are your future plans?
I am going to work on my next book (right now with the working title: Someone Else's life) and find a job. I graduate college in two months with a degree in Economics and Business and so hope to move to Ireland or the UK and work in the Banking/Finance sector. I also plan to continue to promote my book and educate on self-injury as much as possible. And from there? I plan to be open to whatever life has in store for me.