This is a dialogue between an author and reviewer that I found fascinating- so I thought you might too!
A wonderful discussion on the craft of writing between Ed Morawski, author of View and Avenue of the Gods, and reviewer Araminta Matthews

Hi Araminta,

First I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read and review my book: View.

With your credentials, I’d be a fool to ignore the opportunity for constructive criticism and to open a dialogue and benefit from your expertise.

Your review was surprising in two aspects: first, your comments about the cover art. I found it strange that you got exactly the impression I was looking for in your description of “earth tones” while not liking it at all. A good friend of mine does all my cover art (so perhaps I am biased). The usual routine is to give him a draft of the manuscript and then he comes back with his concepts. Each time I have been quite pleased with his ideas and the results. On View, for example, the earth tones were meant to signify the character Alicia coming from the earth (where she was found) while at the same time being able to escape the earthly realm. By the way, I prefer photo-realistic art instead of illustration so he does work in Photoshop. While I am rather sad you didn’t like the cover, I wonder if I should chalk it up ‘to each his own’ or take this very seriously. I appreciate any further comment on this.  

Second, and most painful were your comments regarding ‘sexism’ and ‘characterization of women’.

While I am a man and cannot inhabit a female mind, I take great pains (I think) to present females as strong characters. After all, Alicia subverted all the men around her and the U.S. government to her will. Her age is purposely left vague until the end but no Lolita reference was really intended. I wanted to present a young girl who had amazing powers under an innocent surface- better to wile the powerful men around her. After all Alicia never experienced love- only brutal rape. She was no more capable of love than a tree or a bush; she had no idea what it was. So she escaped into her dreams.

And as far as Max, he didn’t have any girlfriends (only models he photographed); he was a loner who was perfect fodder for Alicia’s plans to find a mate. If was only after she awakened him that he realized his own power and then was suitable for her. I also felt that Alicia’s character and motivations were well explained in chapter 25.

Lastly I guess I have to mention the comment about ‘mundane action’. I am a fan of history and like to sprinkle references to historical events in my writing and I hoped readers would find it interesting enough to seek out further information about historical places and characters.


Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
 

Ed


Dear Mr. Morawski:

I appreciate your response to my review.  Dialogue is always welcomed and I'm happy to offer more insight.  Again, I do think you are a skilled writer.  I think your "mistakes", if I can call them that, are "shop" mistakes.  In other words, they are things we do when we don't have great editors or when we are "rushed" to complete our work on time.  They are easily remedied and I have no doubt of your ability to do so.

First, I'll respond to the cover art.

I can certainly understand your predicament:  a close friend does your cover art for you.  I have found myself in similar situations.  At the same time, in all honesty, the cover art looks like something done for a self-publication house.  Now, self-publication is not bad (for, in fact, I have no idea if View was self-published or not), but it does have a stigma that cannot be overridden without proper presentation.  To overcome that stigma, I suggest this:  less is more.  I am immediately thinking of the covers to many Tom Robbins' novels as examples.  Rather than have a stripe that goes over both sides, a large picture that (at first glance) is hard to decipher, and dramatic color composition, try a simpler approach.  Perhaps it is a matter of using just one color for the covers and one color for the text on both (no stripes, no over-sized pictures, etc.)  In addition, I did check out your website and, consequently, the cover art for the majority of your books prior to writing my review and was made aware that the majority of your covers seem to lack a visual maturity in their construct.  The art, itself, demonstrates talent, but as cover art, it lacks some je ne sais quoi.

Secondly, I'll address characterizing women.  Alas, but creating a character of our opposite gender identity is difficult for most of us.  At the same time, Alicia reads frequently as a "man's view of the feminine gender role" -- in other words, she presents as one of the following:  virgin, mother, slut, or saint.  In most cases, she presents as a "slut".  Her "humanity" is tapered by her sexuality, which , as you say, is underdeveloped.  But, it doesn't read as underdeveloped.  It reads as if she is a stereotype without any real substance.  To get away from that, the only real thing to do is examine gender from the opposite position.  Try a women's studies/gender studies class.  Try reading the feminine perspective as presented in Jeanette Winterson or Virginia Woolf.  Or, consult many women in an effort to represent the feminine more accurately -- is the word I think I am striving for.

And finally, I will clarify my point about cutting out material that is not strictly necessary.  The best thing a creative writing instructor ever said to me was:  "Cut out the things that most readers skip."  It clicked.  Have you ever been reading a paper, for example, that uses lots of those indented, reduced-pitch, single-spaced quotations?  And how many of them did you actually read?  The same can be said for many things:  song lyrics in a story, unnecessary or excessive action around dialogue, bland or mundane image description.  Cutting things like this will improve the readability of any story immensely, I suspect.  In truth, I skipped many parts of View because they just lost my interest -- probably why I missed that Max didn't date the models he photographed, though those were some of the more intriguing scenes as they involved stark characterization.

I hope this is what you are looking for from me.   I am happy to clarify any point for you should you request it.  Good luck with your writing.  I'll keep my eye out for your future works.

~Araminta Matthews

Hi Araminta,
Thanks so much for your response.
I begin to see your point about the cover art- less is more. I will have to go back to the drawing board on that. As an engineer by trade, I probably fell into the trap of attempting to explain too much.

As to your point about sexism, I must admit guilt to a "man's view of the feminine gender role" :  virgin, mother, slut, or saint. Your criticism is telling in this regard and it suddenly brought to mind some of my blunders. I never realized it before although I am very familiar with these concepts and the Madonna syndrome.

In my defense I will point to the fact that Alicia is not the ‘slut’ in this case however. The models represented that role in fact. And you will note that although they ‘sell’ their bodies in the most literal sense, they never actually have sex- they only promise it. Alicia fulfills all the other roles. She is an innocent virgin (although defiled) who eventually becomes a mother and finally-perhaps-a saint. Alicia is never a slut, you will notice she only has sex for reproduction. She is not a seductress and doesn’t even know how to be one. She escapes into her dreams of fantasy figures she has learned about and uses those other ‘girls’ to help her seduce Max. At least that’s the way I intended it to be…

 By the way, as an aside much research was actually conducted into the historical figures in the book. I found one stood out: La Malinche. Her story has to be one of the most fascinating and untold stories in history (not to mention extremely controversial in certain circles). I urge you and the readers to seek out more, although there is sadly little out there. Perhaps my favorite is Voice of the Vanquished: The Story of the Slave Marina and Hernan Cortes by Helen Heightsman Gordon. Maybe someday someone will write it and bring it alive and to the masses.

 Finally as to your comments about editors: gee, I only wish there were more good ones. I have been through two with decidedly inferior results. I usually find more typos then they do (after publication unfortunately) and get almost no good feedback such as you have presented. I’ll keep looking.

 Thanks again for your insight and comments.

Sincerely
Ed Morawski